Oxford

When my father asked me what my bank account was, I showed him my middle finger .Everyone in the room laughed.I might be in the hospital room,I might just got out of coma but I was consious of my money.
I was just got out of coma. I was comatose for three months.When you are in a coma,while everyone thinks that you can’t hear,you hear a bit.I can remember my mom asking me not to leave for thousand and thousand times.I couldn’t do anything.I was unable to live by myself.I was fed by a tube taking with some kind of liquid . I knew that I was in somewhere like hospital.Everyone around me was so sad. Me, I don’t know.Being sad is something to do with humans whereas I did not knointo which specious I was from .I even didn’t know where I did not know where I was or what I was doing there.
I never forget Yasemin Bora(at the time,later she got married and her surname has changed) she came to London to where I comatose.And she stayed with my family . My family has rented a flat where is close to the hospital.
When I got out of coma it was even worse.I thougt people were flying when they left my room.
The year was 1996.My parents and my sister, my uncle and Çiğdem they all came to where I stay.Not only my family but also friends came along.Caner Ersoy who is my father, at the time couldn’t go abroad as the bank were colapsed. Later he arrenged something and he came.
My father used to take me to hospitals garden and we used to feed the birds. You had to see me, four pillows for me to be able to sit in the wheel chair.I tell you this from my family’s memories. Of course their experience is worse than mine. When I was in the coma I just heard people crying.But my mom she beleived in me and she was telling me all the stories.She was telling me fairy tales.And I remember my very old friend Kerim has come and his baloon I never forgot. He was looking for a school in England
In the United Kingdom, I was in Oxford ,studiying Foundation.In England their system is quite different if you are a foregner.First you attend TOEFL .My grade was 490 which is not what they wanted. My grade was low. So I had to attend Foundation Course. This course was quite different.I even had acounting as well as English.
Once I was in the accounting class in the first lesson I came across with Earle. I dont know what it was actually.But at the lesson I went and sat next to him. Then we walked to his apartment and in addition to this he was intelligent.I dont really remember wheather I was in love or anything.I spent the evening, with him.He told me that he was 30 years old.And I believed him.At the time I was 18. I used to belive everyone. That was my horrible behavior. Now I regret that I had met with Earle
One day we went to London to see my friends. We had nice dinner with Eda Kahraman and Bora. At the time they were having an affair. We had dinner and we seperated. They went home and we went to a night club. After we had gone to the club I don’t remember.They say, in the car I was drunk. Probably the driver was drunk too. The funniest thing is I dont know who the driver was. I guess he was Malay.You see a moment can chage your life.If I was not in the car, my life would compl
The car was BMW.I dont give a shit.We were six in the car.Only knew I was Earle and the rest I dont Know. They were Earle’s friends. Some Maley and some Singaporians .We were driving fastly as me and Earle were suppose to catch a bus which will take us to Oxford where we study
We were around Buckhigham Palace and the car crashed the Wall of Buckingham Palace. The soldiers had called the ambulance and when the ambulance came,my breathe was stopped.
So they regained my breath with pombs and directly brought me to traffic hospital. In England after all traffic injiruis pupil has sent to Traffic Hospital.
A lot of my operations has done there.When they let my parents know this, operations nearly has finised.Please do think about my parents.They explain me the situation they were in. Sometimes I think that I did not have the right to make them live what I had been through.Yes but what can one do.Noone wanted that,did they?
Actually back in Oxford, my grades were high.Altough I was not working that hard I had a boyfried living in Keele, Manchester. By train it was about an hour.I used to go there. Once or twice.In my trips to Keele, in the train I was feeling guilty but nothing else.My boyfried was Cenk Kılbey at the time.Earle was in Oxford, Cenk was in Keele. Earle knew Cenk but Cenk I am sorry Cenk….
Cenk has come to Oxford when I had the accident.We were together for years.I did not know how to say , ‘lets get seperated’.Above everything I respected him, and his family.After the accident we got
Seperated.One small anektod,I was lying in bed couldn’t move properly and Cenk was my side. I told him about Earle.Guess what he said, ‘try to recover first’.He was that kind.If we hadn’t seperated,we should be married by now.
After some time doctors said she should wake up where she used to be.So my family thought to be back home must be better.
So we came home and another festival has begun. In the plane I was with two tubes hanging around me one is for me to breathe normally and the other is to pis.Well I donnt know how to spell this but I am sure you all know what I ment.
After unbearable plane trip , we arrived İstanbul . Why I say this is because to sit there was so hard for me.I mean I dont know but I think everywhere in my body hearted. I cant remember the details now but that two and a half hours was like days for me.

16.8.16
11.20

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